rip the earth in two with your mind, seal the urge which ensues with brass wires

favorite band of the moment: mumford and sons

heard them on npr a couple of weeks ago. they are my new obsession. i like to go on long walks and have them playin on my ipod. i can't help but dancing as i listen to them. each song applies to some part of my life. love it when that happens.

i would like to just sleep for a good month and a half and wake up to find my life all sorted out. yes i would like that very much. sometimes it really bothers me that my dad won't make my life decisions for me anymore. i try to trick him into making my decisions but he won't. he just keeps reminding me that i need to hurry up and make them. and i agree, but i just get so distracted with this warm weather and playgrounds calling my name.

two of another, none of a pair

this warm arizona weather has gotten me antsy for summer. six more weeks and i can put into action my epic plans for the summer of twenty ten. it seriously can't come fast enough. school just gets in the way of things sometimes. summer is all i can think about and all that is getting me through the next month and a half.
my summer plans are at last becoming finalized. looks like i am staying in logan, working for the forest service, and going to have weekends full of cliff jumping, otterpop eating, tree climbing, canal floating, bubble blowing, and water balloon throwing.

i guess i should focus on getting through the next six weeks. or even the next couple days. i have been feeling a little trapped in this hotel room.

i wonder if i will ever stop feeling like i need to get out of the place i am in. constant restlessness.

counting all the ideas drifiting away, past and present, they don't matter now the future's sorted out

i have never felt so completely myself in clothes as i did this night.











the boots, the hat and the shirt are all a part of my job attire anyways. i think i could be happy dressing like this for the rest of my life. also, this is how blake dresses normally. it's pretty dang sweet.


i have decided to stop trying to explain my life to people around me when they ask. it's too complicated to send in a text or explain in a conversation that takes place while passing by in the tsc. they don't need to know. it doesn't matter anyways. i love life. life hurts sometimes but that's okay cause that is how we grow. that is all anyone needs to know.

learn from your mother, or else spend your days biting your own neck

i actually sat in the same place for more than an hour tonight and did homework. this is quite an accomplishment for me.

now i need to learn that it is okay to be in my apartment more than one hour a night (other than sleeping). i always feel bad for the people i live with cause i'm never home and we rarely associate (this may be seen as a good thing to them?).

today i:

offended an 18-year-old girl that just got engaged

gave thumbs up to a couple that just got married while waiting at a red light (cause i knew what they were going to do next)

resisted the urge to eat at cafe rio

started learning how to play a stupid cheesy love song that i can't get out of my head on my mandolin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1koDmMSfi0M
anyone that knows me, knows why i love this video so much.

our shadow by day and our pilar by night

just a warning, i am going to get churchy in this post.

i am just amazed as a result of this past weekend. i know my heavenly father knows me and loves me, but it just surprised me so much how much he really does know me. i don't know how i would have survived this weekend without the many church events that went on saturday and sunday: saturday evening stake conference, sunday morning stake conference and a ces fireside. in each of these meetings every speaker touched on something that i really needed to hear at this time. all the testimonies that were shared really touched me and gave me a much needed extra strength. i was asked on the spot to (once again) share my testimony at stake conference. i'm pretty sure people are sick of hearing from me by now, but it still felt great. i have a really hard time verbalizing my feelings, sometimes i feel like it is just a series of grunts and random noises that come out of my mouth. as i listen to the testimonies of others i sometimes can't help but feel a little inadequate, that they are so much more eloquent than i am. but i figure maybe my testimony can speak to those out there that are less eloquent and can see that someone as shy and awkward as me can get up there and feel so passionately about this church. that is my hope.

i dig.

http://www.myspace.com/chinesematteomusic
not just because i am asian. but because they are great.