Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

wild dogs cry out in the night

jessie has been passed out on the bed for the last half hour and i have been stuck in this hotel room for the last 6 hours. i guess i might as well blog or do something semi-productive.

i worry far too much. i know this and people tell me everyday. then i just start to to worry about how much i worry which doesn't help the situation at all. i just hate feeling like i don't have control over my life, my future, my emotions. i don't know what is stopping me from just going along with how things are and having fun. i guess i am just a stubborn person and want my life to be how i picture it in my head. but maybe i just need to realize that is not reality.

this whole exercising faith thing is very new to me. the last 8 months i have tried to put it into practice and have been astounded at how things just work out. even when it doesn't seem like they will at the time.... somehow they always do. the last two weeks i have been so blessed and learned so much. i guess going back to the worrying thing... i know my life will be great however it turns out.

"people will give you all kinds of advice, don't listen to any of it, they don't know what they are talking about, follow your heart and do what you know is right.... because you WILL make the right decisions for yourself."

i want to:
know more
eat chocolate covered cinnamon bears the rest of my life
not get fat from cinnamon bears
make my own granola
finish knitting my scarf
be at the drew danburry show tonight
grow longer hair
have my computer fixed
get my personal progress thing finished
go to haiti
talk like i am from jersey shore
have a plan
know what people are thinking
get a slurpee

i am:
okay with wearing sweats for four days straight
excited for the future
grateful for where i am at
not going to take any crap
happy for parents that taught me to be independent