tell it to the valcano, from what i know you're going down the hole

realizations:

you cannot make someone be there for you. i know that you're probably like "duh, kim" i have said that to myself too. but that still never stopped me from trying.

i am not myself. i am trying to figure it out. i think it may be just the change of coming back to school and everything, but something just feels so off. i can't quite figure it out. i'm not my happy, cheerful self. it bugs me.

the boys i want to like me don't. the boys that i don't want to like me do. i give up.

when a boy calls you "bud" i am pretty sure that is his way of making it completely obvious that he is not remotely interested.

i think it is sometimes necessary to go through a "friend detox." there have been some people in my life lately that seem to think a friend's sole responsibility is to take on their problems, feel sorry for them, and whine with them. it sure as heck isn't. and i'm sick of feeling pulled down by all of it. i want to say that i am through with all of it! but in reality i'm a sucker and just feel bad for people when they complain to me. i need to grow a spine.

i love being around people that make me laugh. so so much. i need more laughter in my life.

riding bikes everywhere is cool now. i am glad it wasn't as cool the last 6 years when i had to ride my bike EVERYWHERE. but now that i finally have a car and can actually drive places.... all of my friends think it's cool to ride bikes. good thing i don't care about being cool. ;)

i miss provo. i never thought in a million years i would ever say that. but i do. i miss longboarding down the provo river trail. i miss floating on the LPC (lazy provo current). i miss eating pizza in the hot tub at the raintrizzle. i miss going water ballooning. i miss shows at velour. i miss motorcycle rides and ice cream. mostly i miss my friends. much love.