i'm not even going to bother.

sometimes life can be so messed up. i can't figure it out anymore. it seems like now the only way i can keep my head above water is to lie to myself. i have to lie to myself about the things that are happening. and pretend like things are okay. but they definitely are not.
the last month has been the hardest month of my entire life. and through all the things that keep on happening i am trying to find a reason for it all, trying to find some sort of lesson that i can pull out of all the rubble that keeps on coming crumbling down.
it's hard to think that you can rely on people in your life then realize you cannot.

i've been trying to be good and keep my complaining and whining about life to a minimum. but you know what? sometimes it just reaches a point where you just can't anymore. i can't keep telling myself that things can't get any worse, because just when i think that.... it sure as hell does.