for a second there i felt you disappear.... i talk out loud like your still around.

i've been having a hard time getting to bed at a reasonable time. not sure why. it's not like i'm doing anything really productive. just writing blogs, msning, and chatting with roommates. sometimes i get so caught up in life and school that i don't take time to appreciate the little things that make up my day. it's little discoveries that make me smile. like finding out there is a compartment shelf thing behind the bathroom mirror. that was exciting. or talking to a friend hundreds of miles away.

it's strange how missing someone so much that i literally feel pain in my chest is actually one of the best feelings ever. just knowing that i can care so much about someone. it feels great. :)

i'm going to try to stop worrying about things and making myself feel so overwhelmed. i wish someone was here to tell me to "just take a good deep breath, and everything is going to be okay." but he's not here anymore and i'm trying to get used to that. i've started to see there is no point in hanging on to something that isn't there anymore. and he shouldn't be, he has no obligation to me anymore. he *is* my hero, and he changed my life. it's just this awkward situation now. he's out there changing other athlete's lives.

i get a lot of excitment out of setting two people up. like really though. and this usually only occurs when i am completely content with my love life and i want others to feel the same happiness. so i am currently working on candidates for my two lovely roommates, my best friend, my alex friend, my brother and meh just about anyone that is currently single. this may be annoying to you, but i like it and it brings me joy to see twitterpation in othere people's eyes.

i am in a really thankful mood right now. so bear with me. i have the best best friend ever. she lets me take over her bed for hours at a time, goes with me to the gym when i tell her she has to, brings me delicious cupcakes, and tells me i have big, beautiful eyes, and lucious lips when i am feeling insecure. i don't know what i would do without her. like seriously though.

happiness is:
sleeping in
not spilling my tea on me for once
still being friends
running without pain
seeing him
feeling secure with the place i am at
having a nice hair day
lectures about sea turtles
trust
bestest friends in the whole wide world
slipping, but not falling
flowers that are still alive
sunshine on my face
dry sidewalks