i have realized there are many people in my life that try to make me feel like i am not good enough for them: not a good enough daughter, not a good enough friend, not a good enough girlfriend, not a good enough runner, not a good enough student, etc.
i am sick of feeling sorry for myself because others won't give me the validation that i seek so badly. i just want to feel like i am good enough for someone or something, but i don't yet. this is going to sound cheesy, but i think i have realized the important thing is to feel like i am good enough for myself, good enough that i can just be happy and proud of the way i am.
sometimes i think that people purposefully try to make me feel like i am not good enough for them so i feel thankful for them or something.
for example: some coaches i dealt with after high school would try to make it sound like it should be an honor for me to run for them. they would tell me all the other really fast runners that were looking at them too and they would try to play stupid mind games like that cause they thought it would make them seem prestigious and i would want to be a part of that. i didn't.
people in my life try to play those same games and it drives me nuts. it leaves me feeling hurt that i will never live up to what they want from me.
but i'm starting to not care anymore. i'm just gonna be the best daughter/friend/girlfriend/runner/student in the way that i know how.
The Party Animal
8 hours ago
3 comments:
you always seem to write just what i am thinking or feeling.
kimmie poo. i just wanted to let you know that I'VE always thought it was a blessing to be YOUR friend. thank you :)
i love you. and think about you almost daily.
kim, i've said this before but i love how well you can express emotions and put your thoughts into coherent sentences.
i'm always happy to be your friend and i wouldn't want you to be any different.
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