and miraculously swine flew!

well hello there. you are probably going to get sick of the amount of posts i will be doing the next few days. you see, i have not much else to do while i lay in bed quarantined for a while. why am i quarantined you may ask? well, i have swine flu. yes that is correct. SWINE FLU! you probably think i am joking, but i most certainly am not. heck, i sometimes think i am joking when i say it out loud. it does sound completely absurd. maybe this is what i get for laughing about it so much. i keep telling people that swine flu really isn't as bad as the media is making it out to be, and that they are making such a big deal about it to draw attention away from the stupid crap that president obama is doing to this country! and i am going to stick by that theory. because after having contracted H1N1 Influenza (more commonly known as swine flu) i am here to tell you that i am not going to die. you would think with the hype that the media has put into it that anyone who contracts it will face serious symptoms. not true. i know it is different for everyone and that some people get more sick than others, but it honestly doesn't feel any different than your average fever/chest pain/ headache. it only lasts a week (which isn't TOO bad, kinda annoyed that it is cutting into my summer play, but whatevs). but it's funny cause i am under the impression that people think i should be hospitalized right now. just goes to show how reliable the media is. psh. *coughliberalmediacough*

i was your silver lining but now i'm gold

i am moving into a quaint little house in downtown provo with my friend bird on tuesday. i am so excited to finally get settled into the summer routines. everyone keeps warning me not to let provo eat me alive. it won't. i don't think i'm the kind of person that would let it. i will be in a cute white abode with a great roomie in a neighborhood that is close enough to velour that i can walk to see drew danbury play. how can it get any better than that? oh, i know. add some green otterpops, jones soda, cafe rio and bike rides and we have the recipe for a perfect summer.

it is just astounding to me to look back on all the blessings that have happened in my life in the last few months. the great friends by my side, a family that is starting to come closer together piece by piece, a great job, legs that work. don't get me wrong, i have my down times, but they are just have just been getting few and far between lately. and normally when those occur i can trace them back to a stupid decision i have made.

summer seems to be the season for marriage. so many people that are close to me are tying the knot this summer and it's so neat to see the excitement in their faces as the days draw near. it makes me excited to feel that way too someday. someday.

the summer of two thousand and nine will be the summer of:
rodeos,
learning to love cooking again,
saving money for the future,
biking adventures,
using my $200 long board i bought two years ago,
learning Vietnamese perhaps?,
raspberries and cream snowcones,
rekindling friendships,
seeing logan-boy-who-makes-me-smile,
chaco tan lines,
stomping around in my cowboy boots,
bringing my family closer together,
running because i love it,
green, then pink, then red, then purple, then orange otterpops (in that order),
floating down the provo,
hiking timp mountain,
optimism,
pushing myself to be better,
listening to obscure music,
going to shows that make me smile for a week,
walking barefoot.



i love life. and i love that i don't have to be in a super excited mood to love it. i have begun to be content with finding joy in the little amazing things about life. i love it. and i am so excited for the things that are going to happen this summer. i feel like it's going to be the best yet.

once i wanted to be the greatest, no wind nor waterfall could stall me, and then came the rush of the flood, the stars at night turned deep to dust.

one of my biggest fears is turning into a judgemental, self-righteous person and it has been on my mind a lot lately. i try really hard to catch myself thinking those thoughts before i express them verbally. in the past couple of weeks i have a had some really good talks about this with people i really look up to. i've come to a realization that i hope i can keep with me for the rest of my life. i have realized that no matter how rude, or strange someone is we are all trying the best we can. i know i am trying the best i can to do what is right. and what is right for me may not be right for other people. i think we are all trying to figure this out and each has a different way of approaching it. it is easy to look at other people's mistakes and judge them harshly when in reality i should be more focused on my own mistakes and faults. it is stupid of me to think i am any better when i know i have just as many faults.
i was talking to gale reed (the guy that baptized me) the other day on the phone and he taught me a very important lesson about unconditional love for everyone. he is my hero and i strive to more like him. just being able to look at everyone and see that they are all trying the best that they can do and loving them for that seems like a wonderful thing to me.
i work with so many great people. the long hours we have working on trails allows us all to get to know one another better than most people get to know them. it's funny to look back on our first impressions of each other and laugh about how wrong most of us were. we are all going to have first impressions of people but i think it is important to not let them stop us from getting to know the person.
that's all really. i just have realized that loving everyone can be such a great thing.

put me under the microscope doctor, i wanna see my brain

i worry far too much about the future but right now all i can see is the potential of everything coming crashing down around me and i dont know what to do but write blogs at 2 in the am and spend inordinate amounts of time cleaning the kitchen and preparing food for tomorrow and doing other people's dishes which is something that i would not normally do however in this state of anxiety and frustration i have to find things to occupy my mind and it might as well be something that helps others too i haven't felt this way in such a long time and i keep telling myself that it is because i havent ran since saturday or because i stayed up until 3 last night talking with elyse (lack of sleep and lack of running tends to be horrible on my mood)
it scares me that the past has a way of creeping its way back into your life when you least expect it and when it is most inconvenient
it drives me crazy to know that something i want very badly is just out of reach for now because i cant seem to let myself open up
i seem to have lost that piece of me and i really am in a rush to find it
how would it be to feel like i could be completely honest and open with anyone at anytime? i want that again especially with the people that i really care about that i want to get to know the real kimberly
so i will stay up tonight doing random things to pass the time away so that hopefully i will get tired enough that i won't be able to deny myself from sleeping

i tried to be cool, but your so hot that i melted

i am so content right now. i don't want anything to change. i am so content with not working and spending my time freely. so content with seeing loganboy everyday and not questioning what is going to happen this summer. i have grown content with no-schoolness, not cooking and doing laundry only when i run out of underwear. i am very content right now with going to bed knowing that i can sleep in and not have to wake up to an alarm clock.

i wish i could stay in this idle state for a while. but i know it is all going to change soon. this summer is going to get me out of my comfort zone. i will be living in a new place (alone for the first part), working a rough (but fun) job, running my butt off, and i will be trying to apply new things to my life. i can do this. i know i can. these are the things that make me who i am. it is these times that allow me to prove to myself that i am made of more than some people seem to think i am.

the start of something

things i love. (inspired by people that are more positive than me)

my name is kimberly tu quinn, kimmie, kimmiecat, kimster, kimmie poo, kimmie co., kimalinalin, kimbo.
i am in love with wearing sandals. mostly because then my feet don't stink as much.
i love the trees in the spring/summertime. okay. i love trees all the time.
i love people who appreciate the beauty and majestic-ness of unicorns as much as i do.
i love elyse's kaleidoscope and how i spent an hour looking into it today.
i love that people think it's so funny to tickle me. because i laugh really hard. what they don't know is i love to laugh. therefore getting tickled isn't all that bad.
i love that i will be sleeping on a couch for 3 weeks
i love knowing that i am going in the right direction
i love making summer plans even though i know half of them will fall through
i love friends that make time go by way too fast.
i love being able to call a friend after two years and have it seem like nothing has changed.
i love the thought of not having to grow up for at least 3 more years
i love how it is skirt-otterpop-tree-climbing weather now!
i love being with loganboy and how he makes me smile like no one else can.
i love drew danburry shows/songs and how they make me feel less tense about life.
i love musically talented people, probably because i am musically and artistically challenged and i just greatly appreciate their abilities.
i love the feelings i still get when i look at pictures from mexico. and realizing now, that it was a life changing week.
i love life so much. and i love that i have surrounded myself with people who feel the same way.
i love bonfires and how they make everything you wear smell like campfire.
i love that i am a fan of hand holding, kissing, cuddling, sarcasm, smiling, rain, eating, sleeping, and hugging. but i don't feel a need to prove it by joining a group on facebook.
i love putting raspberry jam on pancakes because i feel like maple syrup can be too overwhelming.
i love making musical mixes and sharing them with people i care about.
i love songs that make me feel nostalgic.
i love hearing jeff play/sing sometime around midnight on his guitar and i love how i now think of him as a great friend of mine.
i love seeing my friends striving to be better. it makes me want to be better too.

blakey poo.

a very close friend of mine passed away last thursday night. i can't even believe this is real. we had planned on having him come up to logan for a visit, but every time he called me to plan a day something came up and i was always too busy. i am kicking myself right now.
i just can't even believe it.
he was such a great guy, i have never in my life heard one bad thing said about him. he always had an infectious smile on his face.
he helped pick up the pieces after the break up 4 months ago. he would sit and listen to me talk about trivial things in my life. but he was just that kind of person. he knew when someone needed a friend and he was there. i am so thankful for that.
the only thing that gives me comfort is knowing that i will see him again. i wonder how i would have felt had this happened two months ago to me. it is still painful, but i know now that i will see him again.

blake, you were such an awesome guy. you always put a smile on my face and you always listened. i am sorry that we never got a chance to paint the town of logan red, and i am sorry i never brought you cookies like i promised. you taught me not to sweat the small stuff and that even when we have trials in our lives you can still go through them with a smile on your face. i miss hearing you whisper funny comments in my ear during boberg's long lectures. i miss having you be the mediator in political science between the debaters and the non-debaters. you were great. there is no doubt about that. i will never forget you and i can't wait to see you again.