map of the problematique

what have you done to me?

i was so sure of my existence

so sure of what i wanted

then you had to go and say those words

changing everything

opening a door that i never even knew was there

oh don't get me wrong

i've been wanting to hear you say it

but now i am stuck

with a constant smile on my face

feeling guilty that it is there

i miss you, too

i do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes

ahem. it has been a few weeks. so here goes, a bunch of my random thoughts:
1- perhaps i should go to hair school? i mean when i am done with my wildlife degree. most of the time i feel like i don't have the intelligence required to be in this field and that when i get out into the real world i won't be successful. therefore, i think maybe i should go to hair school. cause i like to make things look pretty. and i like hair. then maybe i could make my hair look pretty too. this idea extremely pleases my mom. she gets so annoyed at the thought of me doing a "man's job" (she is so sexist and doesn't realize it). she says, "why don't you do hair, or be a teacher, or a nurse? that's what girls do." haha. whatever.
2- i'm sad/happy the season is over (that was incredibly ridiculous to type because they are exact opposites). But i am sad because this has been such a great season. I have had such a blast working hard with some of the greatest girls around. we accomplished goals as a team (something i am not used to). i had blue hair for a while, that was spectacular. This season just went really well for all of us. it feels really good to have a break right now.
3-kyle scott trammell is going to be joining my family for thanksgiving in hurricane, utah. i'm excited for this. i feel like i go to ALL of his family functions (which i really do love), and it's time he spends a week as a quinn. i'm a bit nervous though because we are quite a different family. i don't know how he will handle things. we spend thanksgivings at chuck-a-rama. this is the only day of the year my mother doesn't cook. we wake up really early and go to be really early. we always eat every meal as a family. nothing in our house in hurricane matches, it is just decorated by random things my mom has picked up from garage sales in the last 20 years. i am excited, but nervous for him to experience the intensity of my family.
4-i think i am learning to be a less judgemental person. i think this has to do with the fact that i am constantly around people that are so judgemental all the time it drives me crazy. i am beginning to realize that it's so awesome when people can just be who they are. i am trying to love everyone, unless they give me a reason to not. but i will continue to give them the benefit of the doubt first.
5- i am loving life right now.
6- i love my friends. all of you.
7- i effing can't wait for the semester to be over!! yayuh!

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take away everything you have."
~Thomas Jefferson

because amanda posted this. and i am bored

8 T.V. shows I love to watch:

1. America's Next Top Model
2. Arrested Development
3. Gossip Girl
4. Pushing Daisies
5. Greys Anatomy
6. The Office
7. Little House on the Parie
8. Jimmy Kimmel Live

8 Favorite Restaurants


1. Sage's Cafe
2. Sage's Cafe
3. Dairy Keen
4. Uno's (best pizza in Chicago)
5. Sage's Cafe
6. Hires
7. Sage's Cafe
8. Mimi's Cafe

8 things that happened yesterday

1. My team won the conference championship
2. i was second team all-conference
3. got ninth place overall
4. was second from the team
5. was in new mexico, texas, and nevada
6. sat by an awesome man on the flight home that flies private planes for celebrities. he told me which ones are jerks and which ones are sweet!
7. was a mile away from mexico
8. ate a huge hot fudge sunday

8 things I look forward to

1. Regionals!
2. taking classes for my new major!
3. being a fast runner
4. Thanksgiving
5. Christmas
6. Summer
7. being rich
8. africa

8 things I love about fall

1. crunchy leaves
2. sweaters
3. carving pumpkins
4. cold weather
5. wearing scarves
6. candy corn
7. pumpkin pie
8. going up the canyon

8 things on my wish list

1. clothes from urban outfitters
2. traveling out of the country
3. for my team to make it to nationals this season
4. more money
5. a happy family
6. to be faster
7. healthy hair
8. to see my sister

elyse

so i have this friend, elyse. she is probably the greates person in the entire world. if i wasn't in love with my boyfriend, i would want to be with her. she is just so smart and beautiful.

elyse= perfection

Darkness

I found you darkness

Once again

Welcome back

My dear old friend

It's been so long

Since we last met

All your secrets

I have kept

How was your journey

Where did you go

Without you here

I did not woe

Now you're back

You bring me tears

Painful memories and painful fears

I think I am

In love with you

Your endless shadows and endless gloom

You found me darkness stuck in light

I'm much safer wrapped in your night

oh the joy of politics

okay. i need to vent for a while. so bare with me.

i don't care if your opinion is different from mine. in fact i love to listen to people talk about their opinions and their reasoning's behind them. i love political and religious discussions..... but if you are going to talk about politics or religion with me please don't be condescending and treat me like a child. i try my hardest to be open to your ideas and beliefs, why can't you just do the same for me. don't be a bitch, cut me off, yell at me and treat me like your high school debate opponent.

also, if you say you have an opinion about something, you should get something to back it up. something stronger than "well, that's what my parents and my friends believe." i don't really have respect for people who form their opinions and cast their votes based on what other people believe. but when you actually know why you believe what you do it makes you look so much smarter.