i am loving this weather. it seems like mother nature has all her seasons mixed up this year however. the heat from last week and the rain this week has the leaves on the trees confused. they are finally starting to do their thang now though.

fall means layers. lots of layers. fall is my favorite fashion season.

it also means pumpkin flavored goodness: pumpkin bread, muffins, cookies, seeds, etc.

as well as, good television. more specifically another season of america's next top model. thankyoutyra.

this has become the semester of doing things outside my comfort level. i'm not much of a natural leader, i'm not very vocal and i am not good at telling people what to do. so naturally those are the positions i have been put into this year. team captain, natural resource pr/publicity person, and sunday school teacher. my weaknesses will be made my strengths right? i hope so.

they played mumford and sons on last weeks greys anatomy. it made me cry a little inside.

i started out hardcore spinning on cardboard

another year of school is here. the thought still makes me sick. summer seemed too short. especially the end. which was the best part. hmmm...

things are already in high gear it seems. back to school. back to running. back to procrastinating. same old same old.

but some things are new and better this time around.

relationships

friends

longer hair

more meaningful classes

team

faster legs

dr. mario

jersey shore party numero dos

i guess i am supposed to call myself a senior (even though i have two more years of this). its strange to feel like i am supposed to be growing up, but also feeling like i am nowhere near being there. people around me seem to be getting that down. maybe. i don't necessarily think being married = grown up. but what do i know?

this summer has brought an unbelievable amount of changes to me. it ended with me feeling pretty content and okay with myself and where i am at. its good and i am excited for this year. but i have to say some goodbyes to summer oh ten.

goodbye:

hyrum dam at midnight

meeting halfway

sports bra runs

sparklers

spontaneous dance parties

watching hours of arrested development

i will miss you. till next summer.

i am severely disappointed. maybe i have just been naive, but i always have had some faith in people... that underneath everything people are naturally good, caring and want to help others. it is very disheartening the way people treat each other.... the way a grudge can be held for decades and now no one even remembers why.... but no one is going to do anything to stop the cycle of fighting.
i just feel like even when someone wrongs you sometimes the best thing to do is let it roll off you. cause it's normally not worth the fight. don't get me wrong... i don't like it when people are passive. i respect people who tell you what they are upset about and try to deal with it then not hanging onto it forever.
this past week i have watched how my dad and his siblings interact with each other. i guess that is what as sparked my thoughts on this. i don't know how they could treat a stranger the way they treat each other, let alone their own brother... but they do and it makes me sad. i wish we could all have a bit more love and understanding for each other. but i suppose that is too much to ask for.

rip the earth in two with your mind, seal the urge which ensues with brass wires

favorite band of the moment: mumford and sons

heard them on npr a couple of weeks ago. they are my new obsession. i like to go on long walks and have them playin on my ipod. i can't help but dancing as i listen to them. each song applies to some part of my life. love it when that happens.

i would like to just sleep for a good month and a half and wake up to find my life all sorted out. yes i would like that very much. sometimes it really bothers me that my dad won't make my life decisions for me anymore. i try to trick him into making my decisions but he won't. he just keeps reminding me that i need to hurry up and make them. and i agree, but i just get so distracted with this warm weather and playgrounds calling my name.

two of another, none of a pair

this warm arizona weather has gotten me antsy for summer. six more weeks and i can put into action my epic plans for the summer of twenty ten. it seriously can't come fast enough. school just gets in the way of things sometimes. summer is all i can think about and all that is getting me through the next month and a half.
my summer plans are at last becoming finalized. looks like i am staying in logan, working for the forest service, and going to have weekends full of cliff jumping, otterpop eating, tree climbing, canal floating, bubble blowing, and water balloon throwing.

i guess i should focus on getting through the next six weeks. or even the next couple days. i have been feeling a little trapped in this hotel room.

i wonder if i will ever stop feeling like i need to get out of the place i am in. constant restlessness.

counting all the ideas drifiting away, past and present, they don't matter now the future's sorted out

i have never felt so completely myself in clothes as i did this night.











the boots, the hat and the shirt are all a part of my job attire anyways. i think i could be happy dressing like this for the rest of my life. also, this is how blake dresses normally. it's pretty dang sweet.


i have decided to stop trying to explain my life to people around me when they ask. it's too complicated to send in a text or explain in a conversation that takes place while passing by in the tsc. they don't need to know. it doesn't matter anyways. i love life. life hurts sometimes but that's okay cause that is how we grow. that is all anyone needs to know.